“I Don’t Feel Like Myself.” Understanding Depersonalization During Menopause

“I Don’t Feel Like Myself.” Understanding Depersonalization During Menopause

Have you ever looked in the mirror and felt like the woman staring back at you wasn’t really you?

Or maybe you’ve been driving to work and suddenly felt like you were watching yourself instead of actually being present. Perhaps you’ve looked around your own home and, for just a moment, everything felt…different. Almost dreamlike.

If you’re reading this because you’ve experienced something like that, I want you to know something before we go any further:

You are not crazy.

Take a deep breath.

You are not losing your mind.

You are not alone.

Many women experience something called depersonalization during perimenopause and menopause, yet almost no one talks about it. Because it’s rarely discussed, women often suffer in silence, convinced they’re developing dementia, having a nervous breakdown, or facing some terrible neurological disease.

I know how frightening that can be.

What Is Depersonalization?

Depersonalization is a feeling of being disconnected from yourself. Some women describe it as feeling like they’re watching life happen instead of living it. Others say they feel numb, detached from their emotions, or like they’re moving through the day on autopilot.

You still know who you are.

You know where you are.

You know what’s happening around you.

It just doesn’t feel real.

That feeling can be terrifying.

Why Does Menopause Cause This?

Most people think estrogen only affects our reproductive system, but it actually plays an important role in how our brains function.

As estrogen levels fluctuate and eventually decline, they affect brain chemicals that regulate mood, anxiety, memory, and emotional balance. Your brain is literally trying to adjust to a whole new hormonal environment.

Now add in what many of us are already dealing with:

● Nights of poor sleep because of hot flashes or insomnia.

● Constant stress from work, family, aging parents, or caregiving.

● Anxiety that seems to appear out of nowhere.

● Brain fog that makes you question your own memory.

When your brain becomes overwhelmed, it sometimes responds with a protective coping mechanism called dissociation. Depersonalization is one type of dissociation. It’s the brain’s way of saying, “I’m overloaded.”

Knowing this doesn’t necessarily make the feeling disappear, but it can help take away some of the fear.

The Anxiety Cycle

Here’s something I wish more women understood.

You experience depersonalization.

It scares you.

You begin worrying something is seriously wrong.

Your anxiety increases.

The depersonalization becomes even stronger.

The more frightened you become, the more disconnected you feel.

It’s a vicious cycle, and many women get trapped in it without realizing anxiety is fueling the experience.

Sleep Matters More Than You Think

If you’ve been surviving on four or five hours of broken sleep, your brain simply isn’t getting the chance to recover.

Sleep is when your brain restores itself, processes emotions, and resets its stress response. Without enough quality sleep, anxiety rises, brain fog worsens, and feelings of detachment become much more likely.

Sometimes improving sleep can make a remarkable difference in how connected you feel to yourself again.

Please Hear Me

If you’re experiencing this right now, I want you to hear these words.

You are still you.

Hormonal changes can create symptoms that feel incredibly real and incredibly frightening, but they do not define who you are.

That said, it’s always important to talk with your healthcare provider if these feelings are new, severe, or persistent. While menopause can contribute to depersonalization, other medical conditions, medications, thyroid problems, or mental health concerns can cause similar symptoms and deserve proper evaluation.

There Is Hope

One of the hardest parts of menopause is feeling like you’ve lost yourself.

But I want you to know that many women who experience depersonalization find that it improves as their hormones stabilize, anxiety is treated, sleep gets better, and they receive the support they deserve.

You don’t have to suffer in silence.

You don’t have to carry the fear alone.

And you certainly don’t have to believe you’re “going crazy.”

Here at Breathing Room, my hope is that every woman who lands here finds something she may not have found anywhere else—a place where she’s understood, believed, and reminded that what she’s experiencing is real.

Sometimes healing begins with hearing five simple words:

“Me too. I’ve been there.”

And if that’s why you’re here today, welcome.

No Comments Menopause

Protein After 60

Protein After 60: Hitting Your Daily Target Without Overthinking It
If you’re 62 (or anywhere in that decade), there’s a good chance a calculator recently told you to aim for somewhere between 58 and 73 grams of protein a day. That number isn’t arbitrary — as we age, our bodies become less efficient at using protein to maintain muscle, which means getting enough matters more, not less, than it did in our 30s.
The good news? Hitting that range doesn’t require protein powders, complicated meal plans, or eating like a bodybuilder. It just takes a little awareness of where protein actually lives in your day.
Why This Number Matters More As We Age
After 60, our bodies naturally start losing muscle mass — a process called sarcopenia. Adequate protein, paired with movement, is one of the best tools we have to slow that down. It also supports bone strength, immune function, and simply feeling steady and capable in daily life. This isn’t about chasing a diet trend. It’s about giving your body what it needs to keep showing up for you.


Foods That Do the Heavy Lifting


Here’s a simple reference list — no need to memorize it, just glance back when you’re planning meals:
• Eggs (3 large) — about 18g
• Greek yogurt (1 cup) — 20–23g
• Cottage cheese (1 cup) — about 25g
• Chicken breast (6 oz) — about 50g
• Salmon or other fish (6 oz) — about 40g
• Canned tuna (5 oz) — about 30g
• Lentils, cooked (1 cup) — about 18g
• Tofu (1 cup) — about 20g
• Almonds (¼ cup) — about 8g
• Protein shake (1 scoop, mixed) — 20–25g
• Turkey breast (6 oz) — about 42g
• Lean ground beef (6 oz, 90/10) — about 42g
• Milk (1 cup) — about 8g
• Cheese (1 oz, cheddar or similar) — about 7g
• Edamame, cooked (1 cup) — about 17g
• Black beans, cooked (1 cup) — about 15g
• Quinoa, cooked (1 cup) — about 8g
• Peanut butter (2 tbsp) — about 7g
• Shrimp (6 oz) — about 40g.
• Pork tenderloin (6 oz) — about 48g

What a Realistic Day Looks Like.


You don’t need all of these in one sitting. A day that lands comfortably in the 58–73 gram range might look like:
• Breakfast: 3 eggs — 18g
• Lunch: A cup of Greek yogurt with a small handful of almonds — 28-31g
• Dinner: A modest portion of chicken or fish — 25-30g
That’s already well within range, sometimes with room to spare. The easiest approach is picking one solid protein source per meal — eggs at breakfast, a can of tuna or some cottage cheese at lunch, chicken or fish at dinner — and letting the math take care of itself.


A Gentle Reminder


This isn’t about perfection or tracking every gram with anxiety. It’s about building a rhythm where protein shows up naturally across your day, the same way you might naturally reach for water when you’re thirsty. Small, consistent choices — a boiled egg here, a spoonful of nut butter there — add up more than any single “perfect” meal ever could.
Your body has carried you this far. Feeding it well is one of the quieter ways to say thank you.

No Comments Weight Loss

Weight loss Journey

My Weight Loss Journey Begins: A New Chapter with Tirzepatide

Today, I gave myself my first tirzepatide injection.

As someone who teaches mindfulness, stress management, and holistic wellness, I want to be real with you about something: knowing what’s good for you and actually doing it are two very different things. I’ve spent two decades helping people breathe through their struggles, manage their stress, and find peace in their bodies. And yet, my own body has been carrying extra weight—literally and figuratively—for years.

This decision didn’t come lightly. But today, I’m choosing to begin again.

What Brought Me Here

I’ve been overweight for a long time. I’ve tried different approaches—some with discipline, some with gentleness, most with a mix of both. And while movement, breathing, and mindfulness have transformed my life in countless ways, they weren’t enough on their own to shift what my body needed to release.

My doctor and I discussed tirzepatide, a GLP-1 receptor agonist that helps with appetite regulation and blood sugar management. After careful consideration, I decided it was the right tool for me right now. Not as a magic fix, but as support for what I’m ready to commit to.

Why I’m Sharing This

Here’s what I’ve learned in my years of wellness work: shame loves secrecy. And so many of us are quietly struggling with our weight, our bodies, and what we think we “should” be doing about it.

I’m sharing this journey because:

  • It’s real. I’m not hiding. I’m not pretending I’ve discovered the secret through green juice and 5 AM workouts (though I do both). I’m taking a medication, and that’s okay.
  • It’s a tool, not a fix. Tirzepatide isn’t magic. It’s supporting my body’s hunger signals while I rebuild my relationship with food, movement, and self-compassion.
  • It honors my whole self. I can be a mindfulness teacher and still need medical support. These things aren’t contradictory.

What This Journey Looks Like

I’m going into this with intention, not just willpower:

Mindfulness remains central. I’m bringing the same awareness I teach to my eating, my body, my choices. No judgment. Just presence.

Movement is joy, not punishment. I’m committing to moving my body because it feels good and honors the vessel that carries me through life.

Food is nourishment and connection. I’m learning to eat in a way that feels sustainable, enjoyable, and aligned with my health goals.

Community matters. I’m leaning on my support system—my husband Jeff, my friends, my doctor. And I’m inviting you to walk this path with me.

An Invitation

Whether you’re starting your own health journey, considering tirzepatide, or just trying to figure out what it means to care for your body in a world that has so many opinions about it—you’re not alone.

I’ll be sharing updates, reflections, and real talk as I go. Not to inspire guilt or competition, but to normalize what so many of us are navigating quietly.

Your journey doesn’t have to look like mine. But I hope my honesty gives you permission to find what works for your body, your life, and your truth.

Here’s to new chapters. Here’s to showing up for ourselves. Here’s to breath, kindness, and the courage it takes to try again.


Follow along on my journey as I combine Tirzepatide, mindfulness, and whole-body wellness. You can find more resources on stress management, mindfulness, and sustainable wellness practices at blog.ritalong.org. I’m also here on Tik Tok @breathingroomrl and facebook at Rita Long Breathing Room

No Comments SelfcareWeight Loss